Hello, for those of you who don’t know me my name is Lester P. Tweed. I am here to inform you of my current circumstance by request of the one known as Yellow Sprite.
I am Lester Poppinoppicus Tweed, age 65, of the long and noble Tweed lineage known best for their abundant success as the best butlers in all of Equestria. My cutie mark, as you might be able to tell, is myself. This in essence means to me that my purpose in life is to be me, and I am one of the greatest butlers in all of Equestria, so my purpose in life is to be just that. I had been born with a quite unusual horn (almost as large Princess Celestia’s some had said), and due to the great size of my horn my dear, dear mother had died soon after my birth. I would not known of the significance of this for quite some time (I believe I had just turned 52 when I learned what had happened), but by then my wretchedly large horn would have been broken down to it’s current, small and pitiable size. The story of how I lost my horn is a sad one to say the least, and I would rather not tell you, but my friend tells me that I should and so I will. I was around 43 years old, and had been serving a family by the name of Pie for the last five years or so, and they were a nice family of which I enjoyed serving. They had a little filly by the name of Pinkamena who I had a soft spot for, and no one who met her couldn’t have either (she was just adorable!). But by some cruel twist of fate the city went up in a blaze, and down in ashes it fell. I felt it was my duty to protect the family until my last breath, and I sought them out but it was too late. The family lay strewn about the flames mangled and horrifically altered, nearly unrecognizable, but then I heard a cry and I immediately searched for where it had come from. Across from where I stood, Pinkamena was huddled in a corner trapped by a circle of flames growing ever closer to her. I had to do something, but I couldn’t use my magic because if I did the entire house would come down on us, but how else could I save her? It was then that I knew what I had to do, I tilted my head and extended my horn towards Pinkamena until I was nearly burning my hooves off! She grabbed it and she climbed back to safety. But as I was pulling my horn back a crossbeam fell on it, breaking it off. We escaped from the building and we went to the nearest city we could find. Unfortunately, I new that I couldn’t well take care of little Pinkamena on my own, so I had to take her to an orphanage where she might find a new family at least.
After all of that I wandered Equestria, serving for a few months at a time at whatever places might need a butler, and eventually I ended up at the royal palace of Canterlot. I told my story to princess Molestia, and me now 62 years old, she thought she really had no need for me. But she thought some more and out of the graciousness of her heart she has allowed me to stay and work for her at her palace as her butler.